I’m going to be married in 224 days.
Let that sink in because I swear this was never part of the plan.
Hell is breaking loose somewhere and while I am not at the epicentre yet, this is going to be my log of what goes on in the bride’s mind as the day comes closer.
Well, yes – bride in denial’s mind, in my case.
You see I never wanted to get married. I liked being in love. But the whole marriage concept seemed (seems?) too contrived for people who like logic and each other’s not-so-imposing company to adhere to. The seed of this argument was sown way before I met Rohit, or even moved to Bangalore, way before I even had a job. We’re talking brainwashing with “you don’t need a man” talk to the extent at which you start believing that you don’t need a partner.
You fight for it, oppose friends, grandparents, well-wishers, general Twitter debate – and you end up being convinced by your own echo-chamber that yes, you’re right, and even better – absolutely right.
But then Rohit happens.
You get used to his sexy voice, his baby voice, his parenting voice, his angry voice, his corresponding touches, his utter blindness to your physical flaws and his honest reviews of your voids – stubbornly guarded and otherwise – then you realise that you can’t sit at a table without holding his hand or feeling his foot against yours. Just resting, barely saying much. You realise that you’re okay, really – in fact, even happy on some days and to be happy because of the presence of someone else is still happiness and it’s a drug – you fall for the whole person and you want to make every step of their life amazing. You want to fight your shortcomings and you want to pull him out of his funk.
You’re in love.
You know where else you are?
You’re in India.
That’s two very intense realisations to have when you’re hoping to shack up with Ro.
Remember that spiel about not wanting to marry? Some of you get your way without regret. Otherwise.
You realise that India… Bangalore, and our parents’ generation still sees sense in the whole deal because partly log kya kahenge? and partly because that’s how people live together. You realise that now it’s not only your opinion, but four other parties’ opinion of two adults wanting to spend the rest of their life together that matters. You also realise that you’ve been brought up, loved and made into semi-intelligent species by these four persons so it’s unfair to veto them just because.
Toh karlo shaadi ki baat.
Toh kya? Court marriage? Mind you, the part about Hindu Marriage Act versus Special Marriages Act is yet to come, and this is being quite a lengthy topic of debate for several reasons… including traffic jams.
Well that’s the dream.
And I’m going to have to deal with it, or alternate realities in time. Tab tak denial toh hai hi!
Anyway, keep coming back because I’m going to take you through the shaadi ki tayaari.